David's Farm Blog

Estate and succession planning is one of the most challenging issues for all farming families. Here is one farmer’s response to the challenge.

I LEAVE: * To my wife I leave my overdraft- maybe she can explain it. * To my daughter Equity on my tractor – now she’ll have to work to meet the payments. * To my banker My soul – he’s got a mortgage on it anyway. * To my neighbour My clown suit – he will need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past. * To the rural adjustment board My unpaid bills – they took some real chances on me and I want to do the same on them. * To the Australian Wheat Board My remaining wheat pool equity – they’ll need it to pay the wharfies’ exorbitant pay rates. * To my farm advisor The farm plan that he did for me – maybe he can understand it. * To the local shire council My pile of discarded shock absorbers and blown tyres – I suggest that they make appropriate deductions on my overdue rates. * To the junk man My machinery – he’s had his eyes on it for years. * To my undertaker A special request – six machinery and fertiliser agents for pallbearers please. They’re used to carrying me. * To the weatherman Rain, sleet and hail for the funeral please – no sense in having nice weather now. * To the gravedigger Don’t bother – The hole that I’m in should be deep enough. * To the monument maker Carve an epitaph something like this: Under this stone a farmer lies No one laughs and no one cries Where he has gone and how he fares No one knows and no one cares. Alternatively, if I am cremated, send the ashes to the Taxation Department with a brief note that reads: There you are you bastards – now you have got the lot!