David's Farm Blog

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A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his
four year old son standing at the fence with wide-eyes, soaking in the
whole event.

The man thought to himself, “Great… he’s four years old and I’m
gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the
gun – I guess I’ll let him ask and then I’ll answer.”

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said,
“Well son, do you have any questions?”

“Just one,” gasped the still wide-eyed lad. “How fast was that calf
going when he hit that cow?”

How do you like your deere? Rare, medium or well done.  This came to me via email with no details. Please post a reply if you have any idea where or what happenned.

Late Mail – a guy I ran into today told me he saw it yesterday just out of Narrabri, Northern New South Wales. He said he had no idea it was a John Deere. There wasn’t a speck of green paint left on the black wreck.

I was reading  a farm journal the other day about the increasing costs of living. I figured it still beats the alternative……

Think about it.

A boy who lives on a farm is awakened by his mother tells him he won’t get breakfast until he does his chores. One of his chores involves feeding all the animals. While he was feeding the animals he takes out his aggression on some of them. He kicks a chicken, a cow, and a pig. When he finished his chores his mother just gives him a bowl of dry cereal. When he asks why, his mother tells him that he didn’t get any milk because he kicked the cow. He didn’t get any eggs because he kicked the chicken and he didn’t get bacon because he kicked the pig. Right then his father comes in and kicks the cat. The boy looks at his mother and says “Would you like to tell him or should I?”

If at first you don’t succeed -keep trying. It may well be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

A friend emailed me these pics, but no info. Does anyone have any details about this accident. Please post comments….

I have dogs and I was buying a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and standing in line at the check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time but that I’d lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard  as he staggered out the door. Silly Bitch … why else would I buy dog food?

When estimating the water left in your farm dam, never test the depth with both feet.