David's Farm Blog

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/frXy3R78_h8" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

A farmer drives across his field one day in his tractor, when half ways across the field the tractor breaks down. “Damn it” he said.

He sees his wife in the farm yard feeding the chickens, he catches her attention and shouts to her and signals with his hand that he needs a pair of pliers to fix the engine in his tractor.

His wife cannot hear him and raises her arms in the air to indicate this. The farmers shouts over again louder this time and signals with his hand that he needs a pair of pliers to fix his tractor.

This carries on for a while with the farmer and his wife until eventually she makes out what he is saying.

As soon as she realized what he was saying she signaled back. She put both hands on her breasts, then on her crotch and then on her backside.

The farmer looked at her with a very puzzled stare, he couldn’t believe what she was doing. His wife repeated this over and over until eventually the farmer gave up and walked over to the farm yard.

He walked up to his wife very irate and shouted at her “I told you to bring me over a pair of pliers for my tractor, it was broken down”

His wife snapped back “yeah, but I told you, there was a pair in the box under the seat”.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/T6eYWFpAJPQ" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/ctwL4fs7-KM" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /][kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/EZP0Iy0JC-w" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Very cool farming ad for New Holland – thanks Luke from loud.com.au
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/71w2QRRlVv0" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Thanks to Jerry Anderson for info on a cool farm machine. Click for more….

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/GMw_xWKXW9s" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says, “You’re pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock? “The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, “One thousand, eight hundred and thirty two.”The farmer is amazed. “Exactly right”, he says. “How did you work that out so fast?””Easy,” says the accountant “I counted the number of feet and divided by 4.”

An agriculture student said to a farmer: “Your methods are too old fashioned. I won’t be surprised if this tree will give you less than 20kg of apples.”
“I won’t be surprised either,” said the farmer, “this is an orange tree.”

FARMER: Did you sleep well last night?
GUEST: No, the bed was soft and the air was fresh, but an old sow kept pushing at the door. FARMER: Never mind her. She always gets upset when we rent out her room.

A farmer in Devon has successfully grown a field full of vibrators;
unfortunately he now has a problem with Squatters.

 

Fun pictures from R&J Lucas Farming of Roma,Queensland. 

And for all the green fans……..


 

New Bride – New Holland