Welcome to David’s farm blog. I have been farming in Australia for about 30 years - a difficult business at times, so any outlet for a little humor is a good thing. If you can see the lighter side of a tough situation, then farming is for you. Over time I hope to develop this site with interesting and unusual farm stuff, cool links, funny movies, pics, lots of humor and any info about farming. Bookmark this page & visit again whenever you feel like a laugh. This is another Farmnet weblog. Click here to start your free blog at Farmnet Cheers, David Ricardo

email your farming pictures, jokes, stories and links to david@farmnet.com.au

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca-Cola fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. Birds Eye Peas Split. Stanley Tools filed for Chapter 11. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

This blog may contain explicit descriptions of, or advocate one or more ofthe following: adultery, murder, morbid violence, bad grammar, deviantsexual conduct in violent contexts, or the consumption of alcohol and illegal drugs. Then again, it may not. This product is meant foreducational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change withoutnotice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool,process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file,unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for earlywithdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of the dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call tollfree before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Caution - kangaroos next 256kms.Reading of this email or showing it to office colleagues or your companies' legal department even for the purpose of having a laugh is hereby prohibited.