David's Farm Blog

I read these in the UK Farmers Weekly.

You know you’re a farmer when;
Your front carpet is muddier than your drive.
You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house.
You can remember the fertiliser rate, seeding rate,and yields on your farm you had ten years ago, but cannot recall your wifes birthday.
Your fridge does not only contain food.
Your “best” suit only leaves the wardrobe for weddings and funerals.
Over 50% of your clothing comes from chemical or seed dealers.
Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife.
You take an instant dislike to anyone walking into your farmyard wearing a suit.
Weddings and other special events are planned around seeding,spraying and harvesting.
You get excited about that city break he’s organised– only to find there is a big agricultural show on near the hotel.
An afternoon off means getting up four hours earlier.
You talk to every cow you see , even if it’s not your own.
Calves are allways born just after you you’ve got dressed up to go out.
Your daughters don’t bring new boyfriends home for fear of your dad asking them if they can drive a tractor.
Your wifes hands are like sandpaper.
The words “soap and towel” don’t conjure up images of a relaxing bath.
Herd books double as tablemats at meal times.
Your birthday is allways forgotten, but births and deaths of stock are allways remembered.
Friends buy a house with a two acre garden and you calculate how many bushels of corn it would grow.
You find nuts and bolts in the bottom of your handbag instead of loose change.
Other people at the school gate think you are a single parent.
Thats just a few, Why not add one of your own.