Posted in Jokes on Feb 22nd, 2010 No Comments »
An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says, “You’re pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock? “The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, “One thousand, eight […]
Posted in Jokes on Oct 27th, 2009 No Comments »
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong […]
Posted in Jokes on Aug 18th, 2009 No Comments »
The chief woman ‘Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist’, who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site.
In a panic to escape, she slid down the tree, getting a great […]
Posted in Comedy Clips, Handy Hints, Jokes on May 25th, 2009 No Comments »
addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fdavid.farmnet.com.au%2F2009%2F05%2F25%2Fabbott-costello-farm-routine%2F’;
addthis_title = ‘Abbott+%26amp%3B+Costello+Farm+Routine’;
addthis_pub = ”;
Posted in Fun Pics, Jokes on Mar 29th, 2009 No Comments »
addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fdavid.farmnet.com.au%2F2009%2F03%2F29%2Fsheep-dog-conspiracy%2F’;
addthis_title = ‘Sheep+Dog+Conspiracy’;
addthis_pub = ”;
Posted in Amazing, Cool, Fun Pics, Fun Stuff, Jokes on Oct 31st, 2008 2 Comments »
addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fdavid.farmnet.com.au%2F2008%2F10%2F31%2Fjohn-deere-tractor-jeep%2F’;
addthis_title = ‘John+Deere+Tractor+Jeep’;
addthis_pub = ”;
Posted in Amazing, Fun Pics, Fun Stuff, Jokes on Oct 9th, 2008 No Comments »
addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fdavid.farmnet.com.au%2F2008%2F10%2F09%2Fmmmm-fresh-greens%2F’;
addthis_title = ‘Mmmm+Fresh+greens’;
addthis_pub = ”;
Posted in Fun Stuff, Jokes on Aug 28th, 2008 No Comments »
A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow.Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the […]
Posted in Fun Stuff, Jokes on Aug 13th, 2008 No Comments »
Ain’t no trash in my trailer since the night I through you out
You wanted to get hitched, but my heart is filled with whoa
Baked my sweetie a pie, but he left with a tart
I lost my honey bunny on a bad hare day
She chews tobacco, but she didn’t choose me
The peach I picked in Georgia […]
Posted in Fun Stuff, Handy Hints, Jokes on Jul 25th, 2008 1 Comment »
Thou shalt not store thy tractor out of doors, except for thy modern iron.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors tractor, nor his shop, nor his battery charger.
Thou shalt not love thy tractor more than the wife and children; as much, but not more.
Thou shalt not read Antique Power on company time, for thy employer makes […]
Posted in Fun Stuff, Jokes on Jun 25th, 2008 No Comments »
Estate and succession planning is one of the most challenging issues for all farming families. Here is one farmer’s response to the challenge.
I LEAVE: * To my wife I leave my overdraft- maybe she can explain it. * To my daughter Equity on my tractor - now she’ll have to work to meet the payments. […]
Posted in Fun Stuff, Handy Hints, Jokes on Jun 3rd, 2008 No Comments »
You install a hand-washing sink in the garage.
Your three-year-old asks “is this greasy” before he touches anything lying in the garage.
You dream of a tractor shed with more parking than your garage.
You are qualified to debate the relative merits of various brands of hand cleaners.
You have a larger assortment of lubricants, cleaners, and fuel and […]
Posted in Fun Stuff, Handy Hints, Jokes on May 7th, 2008 1 Comment »
You maybe a farmer if….
- Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
- You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.
- You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
- You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with […]
Posted in Fun Stuff, Jokes on Apr 22nd, 2008 No Comments »
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now. because this is the last stop! And all […]
Posted in Fun Stuff, Handy Hints, Jokes on Apr 19th, 2008 No Comments »
Funny email I wanted to share:
JOIN THE FERTILIZER CLUB - FREE!
This letter is being sent to you because we know that you are critically interested in the condition of your lawn. This is a fertilizer club that will not cost you a cent to join! Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the […]
