Ain’t no trash in my trailer since the night I through you out
You wanted to get hitched, but my heart is filled with whoa
Baked my sweetie a pie, but he left with a tart
I lost my honey bunny on a bad hare day
She chews tobacco, but she didn’t choose me
The peach I picked in Georgia […]
Thou shalt not store thy tractor out of doors, except for thy modern iron.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors tractor, nor his shop, nor his battery charger.
Thou shalt not love thy tractor more than the wife and children; as much, but not more.
Thou shalt not read Antique Power on company time, for thy employer makes […]
Estate and succession planning is one of the most challenging issues for all farming families. Here is one farmer’s response to the challenge.
I LEAVE: * To my wife I leave my overdraft- maybe she can explain it. * To my daughter Equity on my tractor - now she’ll have to work to meet the payments. […]
You install a hand-washing sink in the garage.
Your three-year-old asks “is this greasy” before he touches anything lying in the garage.
You dream of a tractor shed with more parking than your garage.
You are qualified to debate the relative merits of various brands of hand cleaners.
You have a larger assortment of lubricants, cleaners, and fuel and […]
You maybe a farmer if….
- Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
- You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.
- You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
- You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with […]
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now. because this is the last stop! And all […]
Funny email I wanted to share:
JOIN THE FERTILIZER CLUB - FREE!
This letter is being sent to you because we know that you are critically interested in the condition of your lawn. This is a fertilizer club that will not cost you a cent to join! Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the […]
Tractor drivers: patience is the ability to idle your motor when you
feel like stripping your gears.
Letting the cat out of the bag is easier than putting it back in.
Farmers: its not the pace of life that concerns me, its the sudden stop
at the end.
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Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes
from bad judgement.
There are three kinds of farmers - the ones that learn by reading,
some learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on
the electric fence to find out for themselves.
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I read these in the UK Farmers Weekly.
You know you’re a farmer when;
Your front carpet is muddier than your drive.
You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house.
You can remember the fertiliser rate, seeding rate,and yields on your farm you had ten years ago, but cannot recall your wifes birthday.
Your fridge does not […]
Looking to expand your Country music collection, checkout some of these all time favorites?
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye
(Pardon Me) I’ve Got Someone To Kill
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I’d Cry All Night Long
I Don’t […]
A short man walks in to the bar and begins to tell the bartender his story:
Well, he theths, I wath driving down thith country road, when I thaw a thine that thaid “horth for thale”. I jutht happened to be looking to buy a thorth, tho I turned up the driveway to thee about it.
The […]
Dear Son,
I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast.
We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.Won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the […]
A farmer goes to the local farmware store to buy some insecticde. He hold up a box and asks the store manager, ” Is this stuff good for beetles?” The manager replies, ” NO, it’ll kill ‘em”
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addthis_title = ‘Insecticide+for+beetles’;
addthis_pub […]
A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon.”
Not bad !
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addthis_title = ‘Aussie+Fuel+Economy’;
addthis_pub […]
A farmer walks into a John Deere dealership. He browses around, then spots the perfect tractor and walks over to inspect it. As he bends to touch the undercarriage, a loud fart escapes him. Very embarrassed, he looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed his little accident and hopes a sales person doesn’t […]
A man owned a small farm in Australia. The Department of Industrial Relations claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them”, demanded the agent.
“Well, there’s my hired hand who’s been with me for 3 […]
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his
four year old son standing at the fence with wide-eyes, soaking in the
whole event.
The man thought to himself, “Great… he’s four years old and I’m
gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the
gun - I guess I’ll […]
A boy who lives on a farm is awakened by his mother tells him he won’t get breakfast until he does his chores. One of his chores involves feeding all the animals. While he was feeding the animals he takes out his aggression on some of them. He kicks a chicken, a cow, and a pig. When he finished […]