David's Farm Blog

Interesting & fun things about farming.

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Entries Tagged as 'Jokes'

More Country Music

August 13th, 2008 · No Comments

Ain’t no trash in my trailer since the night I through you out You wanted to get hitched, but my heart is filled with whoa Baked my sweetie a pie, but he left with a tart I lost my honey bunny on a bad hare day She chews tobacco, but she didn’t choose me The […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Jokes

Tractor Collector “10” Commandments

July 25th, 2008 · 1 Comment

Thou shalt not store thy tractor out of doors, except for thy modern iron. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors tractor, nor his shop, nor his battery charger. Thou shalt not love thy tractor more than the wife and children; as much, but not more. Thou shalt not read Antique Power on company time, for […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Handy Hints · Jokes

A Farmers Will

June 25th, 2008 · No Comments

Estate and succession planning is one of the most challenging issues for all farming families. Here is one farmer’s response to the challenge. I LEAVE: * To my wife I leave my overdraft- maybe she can explain it. * To my daughter Equity on my tractor – now she’ll have to work to meet the […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Jokes

You Know You Own an Old Tractor When..

June 3rd, 2008 · No Comments

You install a hand-washing sink in the garage. Your three-year-old asks “is this greasy” before he touches anything lying in the garage. You dream of a tractor shed with more parking than your garage. You are qualified to debate the relative merits of various brands of hand cleaners. You have a larger assortment of lubricants, […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Handy Hints · Jokes

You May be a farmer if….

May 7th, 2008 · 1 Comment

You maybe a farmer if…. – Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. – You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation. – You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations. – You have ever had to wash off […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Handy Hints · Jokes

Toy train

April 22nd, 2008 · No Comments

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now. because this is the last stop! And all […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Jokes

Fertilizer Club

April 19th, 2008 · No Comments

Funny email I wanted to share: JOIN THE FERTILIZER CLUB – FREE! This letter is being sent to you because we know that you are critically interested in the condition of your lawn. This is a fertilizer club that will not cost you a cent to join! Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Handy Hints · Jokes

Handy farm hints No 33

March 21st, 2008 · No Comments

Tractor drivers: patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears. Letting the cat out of the bag is easier than putting it back in. Farmers: its not the pace of life that concerns me, its the sudden stop at the end.

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Handy Hints · Jokes

Handy Farm Hints No.31

March 15th, 2008 · No Comments

Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement. There are three kinds of farmers – the ones that learn by reading, some learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence to find out for themselves.

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Handy Hints · Jokes

You know you’re a farmer when….

March 4th, 2008 · 1 Comment

I read these in the UK Farmers Weekly. You know you’re a farmer when; Your front carpet is muddier than your drive. You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house. You can remember the fertiliser rate, seeding rate,and yields on your farm you had ten years ago, but cannot recall your wifes […]

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Tags: Fun Stuff · Jokes

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